I am that girl. At least up until the moment I decided to write this, I was that girl. The one that is down for “just sex”, and yes 6-10 times a day is reasonable. The one that sleeps with you and doesn’t have any expectations outside of, if it was great, maybe we can do it again. The one that enjoys the occasional romp with a polyamorous couple, because why not, it’s nice to be desired. I am the girl at the bar that locks eyes with you and tells you I am taking you home before you even offer to buy me a drink, because before now I thought that was my only speed.
The reason I call this “sexual unicorn” is because before men meet a creature like me, they think I don’t exist. And once they are exposed to the mythical magic, they usually can not handle it and flee in dismay or sheer terror of the power of our skills–see, I am not the last unicorn, there are many of us sprinkled around the globe, living among you.
The purpose of this blog is to explore how and why I became this way. To take responsibility for my choices, share (the somewhat tragic but often entertaining details of) my journey. I love delicious sexual encounters; I believe sex can be magical and completely transformative for healing. I also know the power and devastation that can come from behavior engaged in in an unconscious way, I have experienced both. For over twenty years, I have been an action researcher in this area. Each encounter and relationship has offered me new pieces to a puzzle I did not know I was aiming to solve. It is only recently that I have come to understand that this is my journey, to heal myself directly in this way. And as an act of service, divulge myself in the attempt that others may not feel isolated or alone as they navigate the unfortunately taboo waters of this thing we call sex.
We will go deep (oh yeah, you know you like it), diving into the underbelly of sexual identity and the role trauma has played for me. I am a straight woman of european decent and I will write from that perspective because it is the one I know. I do not intend to proclaim that others will heal from this, if that is a byproduct great, amazing and wonderful, my focus is to share honestly the naked truth of what I remember. I do hope you find it interesting and entertaining, heartfelt and real, and invite your compassion as I tell the beautiful and dirty truth of who I have been and who I am wanting to be.